Fuck you Balatro: You’re perfect Backlog Adventures

Balatro is already my GOTY 2024 contender, but it's also one of the meanest, most unquittable games ever released.

Hey, he's gotta write somewhere.

April 5, 2024April 5, 2024backlogadventuresGaming, Opinion, Will H.Balatro, card-games, games, Gaming, indie games, Review, Video Games, Will H.Screenshots such as this have become commonplace in my group’s Discord chat, as we commiserate over Balatro successes and failures. The Balatro deck-builder loop is one of, if not the most satisfying card experiences in video games. I say this even as someone who not only loved Inscryption, but watched Rachel play over 1,000 hours of that damned game since release. Every round, no matter the deck selected, always begins with a sort-of bare bones, breakneck hand of poker.

This mostly has to do with the player not starting with any Jokers–the modifiers that turn this game’s world upside down–or shopping opportunities. This means that the game’s hand-to-hand goal of hitting the required score (blind) in the early game boils down to that most classic of mechanics, luck.

Of course, you can always push that luck even further, circumvent playing the game’s nasty early challenges, and “skip” the blinds. Doing so grants the player random rewards, ranging from rare card packs to one-time use effects.

Luck be a cruel lady

This continues the game’s goal and M.O. of putting the player in a strange, almost antagonistic relationship with the concept of luck. It’s ever-present throughout each ante, with the Jokers playing the role of creating even playing ground. Powerful effects that create additional chips and score multipliers come from these Jokers and sit at the core of Balatro’s loop. They’re feverishly themed, reminding me of everything from local public access television, popular memes, to more.

Even the presence of these Jokers and their almost combative aesthetic serves to further the line of thinking that to play Balatro is to be in an abusive, short-term acquaintance. It’s not a game that respects your time, effort, or even skill. The best decks and setups fall to pieces at a moment’s notice thanks to the game’s stacking of the proverbial deck.

Blinds get higher, resources fluctuate, and Balatro lulls you into a false sense of security with every step. One minute you think your workflow is perfect, the next you’re stymied by something as simple as all face cards losing their ability to score.

Easy come, easy go. However, that doesn’t make it any easier as you watch great Balatro runs slowly go down the drain. Worse yet, the player is made complicit in this, as they continue to discard cards, play terrible hands, and hope for just one small shot at redemption. The game forces the player to be the one to end it all, as you watch your inability to meet that required score end tens of minutes of hard work.

Fuck you, Balatro.

And yet, there’s a craving to this formula that keeps me playing far past the point of good taste. Every time I think I’ve hit my limit with Balatro, the start over button greets and taunts me in equal measure.

I suppose that’s the test of any good gambling system, right? In this case, it’s not money that I’m putting up as collateral, but my free time instead. A valuable resource, but also one that I’m more than willing to ante up. This is especially true after buying the Switch version for easy bathroom access.

This is also the rare game where I had no qualms about double dipping. Take from that what you will.

It’s true that I certainly have a type when it comes to games that push my buttons. A deck-building, roguelike, with indie aesthetic? That’s Will Harrison catnip. However, even past all that, Balatro presents a perfect and distilled essence of what makes card games continually compelling.

The constant chasing of the next run being the one to change it all. After all, luck is just around the corner.

Follow Will on Twitter @Hammer_Barn or check out his World of Warcraft lore podcast, Essence of Azeroth.

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