136 Getting Head to the second power by Western Promises
better late than clever patreon.com/westernpromises look here is the episode. no intro, joined by LITR. we talk two headed girl marriage, india pakistan relations, spermworld, israel palestine, red dead redemption 2 listen to lifting in the ruins:https://open.spotify.com/show/3ffjUb7V8IJROheAj3HFtH?si=f32ee117d9d54eff
By WesternPromises
Beaumont, Paris, and Kevin lead you through the troubled wasteland of funkopops, disney adults, marvel movies, and bad opinions to the refreshing oasis of good opinions, firm convictions, mushy buffet-style ideology, and genuine camaraderie. Also just kidding if youre upset at anything or whatever. Listen on SpotifySend voice message patreon.com/westernpromises
okay, its incel time. okay now its royalty free sound effect time okay now its balldo time okay now its late episode time
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oh, and access to the Pisscord
AI will replace alcohol in 10 years. soon we wont need to drink 12 beers before approaching the 4 sitting alone at fudruckers. we will just pop in an AI earbud and let the ghost in the machine guide us to hyperborea. dont believe me? really? you dont think that will happen? well, have fun on the wrong side of history CHUD
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what if i told you there was a place you could go, right now, today, right where you are sitting, where nothing hurt anymore? no-one laughed at you anymore? people looked up to you, respected you, wanted to be in your presence. no, im not talking about mindfulness, i dont give a FUCK about being 10% happier. im talking about tantric gooning. 6, 7 8, or even 24 hours, of constant pleasure. alone or with friends or family. are you ready? are you ready to become the man you were always meant to be? well put your headphones on and hit the play button, lets get started.
слушай, я не в этом эпизоде. Я не знаю, что тебе сказать. Я не слушал это, но уверен, что это хорошо. Если вам понравилось, подписывайтесь на наш патреон. Если вам это нравится, тогда обратите пристальное внимание на следующий эпизод. ты узнаешь это, когда услышишь.
no time, cant edit
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woah, college is getting wild now. a bunch of tents and trash and disorder everywhere, what is this, los angeles? just playin. i hope everyone is safe and has a chance to stand up for what they believe in. for me, its installing the hot coffee mod on disney plus. its a little tricky to do but once you have it all configured you can unlock the secret Finding Dory sex mini game. its really sick actually, you get to play as dory and you can swim into the ocean and make love to whatever you want. if someone is good at computers please reach out and help
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Tardigrades (/ˈtɑːrdɪɡreɪdz/),1 known colloquially as water bears or moss piglets,2345 are a phylum of eight-legged segmentedmicro-animals.26 They were first described by the German zoologist Johann August Ephraim Goeze in 1773, who called them Kleiner Wasserbär (’little water bear’).7 In 1777, the Italian biologist Lazzaro Spallanzani named them Tardigrada (/tɑːrˈdɪɡrədə/), which means “slow steppers”.8
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computer, open lotus notes. computer, start new note. new line. dear computer, this week on my radio we talk about dropping it into third gear going 60 on the beltway and chirping the dang tires. end note.
computer, open secret diary file. new entry. dear computer, i am in love with the iranian woman who picks through the trash in front of the del taco. she carries herself with such dignity in spite of her disgusting body and pathetic life. oh diary, i want to ask her to the prom but will she say yes??? ugh, its so hard to be 33. I hope that this summer i get abs and huge tits.
computer, log off.
it gets better near the end of the episode i think
better late than clever
patreon.com/westernpromises
look here is the episode. no intro, joined by LITR. we talk two headed girl marriage, india pakistan relations, spermworld, israel palestine, red dead redemption 2
listen to lifting in the ruins:https://open.spotify.com/show/3ffjUb7V8IJROheAj3HFtH?si=f32ee117d9d54eff
the impending eclipse fucked us up. got us all turned up and mixed around and goofed
unlocking a bonus episode this week from our patreon at patreon.com/westernpromises
3 bonus episodes every 15 seconds? patreon.com/westernpromises
we discuss the neurodivergent clown posse, kingcobrajfs and his GF, new inventions, subway performances, personal attacks, soup temperatures, straight culture, gay culture, clown culture, and what we can learn, regardless of what side of the aisle youre on, from the epic tale of Moses’s bravery and faith.
patreon.com/westernpromises
podcas late cuz my uh, my freaking family like got hit with like a rocket? yeah they got hit with a rocket and i was so sad about that happening to me that it gave me a uh, a fever
so lemme get one of them extensions on the assignment
my counselor told me that you have to give me extra time on podcasts
so you can count it as late if you want but you will absolutely go to jail because of this. my cousin married a chick whose pops is a lawyer
support the show for 3,000 bonus episodes each day
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listen to lifting in the ruins: https://open.spotify.com/show/3ffjUb7V8IJROheAj3HFtH?si=3415c6f7ae9c41c1
we are joined by LITR to discuss gamergate 2.0, something important and worth it, trust me. we also play balatro, hold hands, and remember say his name aaron bushnell. also shaun king going muslim lmao.
support the show for 3+ bonus episodes every single day(month) !!! patreon.com/westernpromises
IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT:
Aella’s birthday g@ngB@ng with an exclusive interview with the virgin that attended
Chris Brown’s penish
Dune i think?
our fans *hands making heart emoji*
our enemies *lil purple devil guy emoji*
halo 2 and da masta chief
and so much more probably
this week? oh youre talking about this week? well this week we kick it ooooold schooool style. just beaumont, just paris, just big big laughs.
hell divers 2, balatro, transracialism, autism, botulism, populism?
support the show for discord access and 3 to four bonus episodes a week. Youre gonna like the way you give us $5 a month, i guarantee it. patreon.com/westernpromises
Beaumont and Kevin are on their honeymoon and they didn’t want to take their microphones
if you like the smell of whats cooking, consider joining the patreon for 4ish bonus episodes each month
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Gothic badass dark wizards, tactical soap, smoking hot babes and open mouth kisses, peanut butter cobras, and epic troll slaying. This week we dive into the exciting new romance in former guest and friend of the show King Cobra JFS. We also dig into a bit more of Vaush’s dark delights and sinister interests. You are not going to want to have your ear drums blown out by a concussion grenade this week. I promise.
//BEGIN LIE//
Limited time only, the next 20 people to subscribe to our patreon get a year free!
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ummm i paused my little sister for sale for this? let me get this straight: eat, game, repeat? Hold on, youre telling me mia khalifa has collected ALL of the dragon balls!?
Subscribe to our patreon for a bonus episode each week plus access to all urinal and stall shots patreon.com/westernpromises
In this episode we are joined by Guy to discuss the real history behind the hit movie 300, the super dark effed up world of palworld, we learn what an earthrocker is, how beer is brewed ethically by sluts, the FAA hiring scandal, and what piercings you need to remove before you have a baby.
Listen to Lifting in the Ruins: https://open.spotify.com/show/3ffjUb7V8IJROheAj3HFtH?si=a18b94632a6a4416
bonus episode every (promise) week every week every week
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the new blade interface system on the xbox gaming console system has revolutionized the way we live and hang out in this place. they slice through the virtual world you are in elegantly and cooly, you will love it. you will love these blades. tired of looking at a new shirt for your avatar? SLICE! browsing adult jpegs you have loaded onto your western digital passport and your whatever walks in? SLICE! gone! now you are looking at the store page for alien hominid.
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weekly bonus episodes and lil guys
did you guys see the news? what happened over there? crazy stuff. insane. glad it is being taken care of though. and by who, even. really couldnt ask for a better team to do what it is that they are doing.
Also in my personal life that happened, and it really changed me. it changed me in specific ways that i understand and am learning to accept.
Right now it is probably my favorite game and it is tied with my favorite mini series
is the western world going to collapse? maybe, and if it did it might sound a bit like this:
Listen to Lifting in da Ruins
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doing some boots on the ground reporting from one of the most dangerous airports in the world for this episode. we talk about the dam tunnels, we talk aobut cheese heads, we talk about getting drunk with you little nephew and convincing him to push a phillips head schrewdriver into the waiters legs while he takes our drink orders at our favorite gastropub. what is more gastro than that?
pronouns? in MY autistic first person dungeon crawler game? next youre gonna tell me they took away sobe and that beloved superstar rapper viper kidnapped a methhead and locked her in a garage with a piss soaked mattress and used diapers lying around everywhere
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We are joined on this uh, one, by lifting in the ruins to discuss being so fat that you get stuck in a bathtub like a spongebob, or you get stuck in a chair and have to call the fire department. we also talk about piss closets, dragon ball z and the hispanic obsession and so much more. ring in the new year with us and hey, as a little freaking treat why dont you subscribe to our patreon for bonus episodes every week
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and listen to Lifting in the Ruins
subscribe to our patreon for weekly bonus episodes and nude pictures of my enemies and friends and neighbors and guys using the urinal at the mall patreon.com/westernpromises
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what an episode and what a year. we break down this year in p*rn with a dear friend. We discuss alternative clowning and what it means for you and your family. but most of all? but most of very all? we say merry christmas. we write it on our own damn starbucks cups. we get it tattooed on our infant sons. we put on our ugly sweaters that we are totally gonna win this years contest at our office/brewery/trivia night with, we are a lock for sure bro. it has dwight from the office on it. it crushes dude. it comes in so clutch for pulling trim. trust me bro, you put this on and they drag themselves towards you like a dog with worms. merry christmas everyone.
sub pls patreon.com/westernpromises for bonus episodes and discord access
Listen to Lifting in the Ruins
do you think god could decolonize his apartment so well that even he couldnt live there? something i think about often. other things i be thinking about: